Learning love...

As I sit and think about love and what that means to me.  The question that comes to mind is "Have I been stubbornly resistant to really embracing it because I have been afraid of/to change?"  (recently had to answer this ?)

The answer is yes.

I believe all of us desire to be loved and accepted.  Except most of us don't really know what that means and more importantly how to react, respond, give, or receive love.  Society has told us it's about what you have and the titles to which you hold, how many letter are behind your name to be accepted and loved.  Parents may have taught us the measurement system, if you reach your goals or whatever measure they have laid upon you, then you've "succeeded" (thankfully, my parents were not this way).  What happens when you don't reach or hit those goals?  Or even worse, you do.  Yet still you are not "good enough?!"  What has happened to our society to make us feel like love or acceptance is so unattainable?  As I reflect more upon this, I realize if society, peer, and parental pressures were not enough - well, then we (ourselves) get involved. Whoa, aren't we our worst critics??

Going back to answering the question above:  Yes, I have been stubbornly resistant to truly embrace love because of my flawed thinking and misconceptions I've had about love.  In the past, I tried to seek love by doing more and being better and being good.  Trying to please everyone, but forgetting myself along the way.  Seeking acceptance by doing more.  Which then led to resentment and anger because I would fail... now at 37 realizing that much of my past thinking was flawed.  I would not say it was "wrong" because to say that would discredit the life experience I gained in my failures and adversity.  So, now I am choosing to let go of my stubborn patterns and choose to love with all of me.  Every part, the good and bad, the ugly and beautiful.  I will choose to remain open, honest, and authentic. 

Has your past been holding you back from your fullest potential to love and be loved??  If so, maybe it's time to examine the old and make room for the new... <3

Amen!