Letting it go...

It's been a huge challenge to learn to lay down control and my past that burdened me.  Every time I have said yes to myself (flesh), I have taken away/cheated God from blessing me.

As I continue my 40 day fast of not consuming any liquor, I've noticed that I've been able to really connect with God and people on a level that may not have been possible with a substance on board.  There have been periods of my life where I was just consumed with "not feeling" or "avoiding."  At the time it felt so much easier than actually addressing the core problems of the heart.  It has caused more heartache and pain to numb than to just actually understand and heal from those past choices I made, or that were placed upon me of no choice of my own.  Literally, taking a sober assessment of my life.

Taken in Rome, Italy

What I do know is that I don't have to carry around the past pain and I can lay it at the cross.  I know that by believing and knowing He always has my best interest at heart, I can walk through the fear and overcome it with Him.  My faith has grown tremendously over the past year.  I've always believed but now I can see just how much I am loved and cared for by the Almighty.  It's not because I am weak, it's because I know without a doubt that I can do all things through Him.  If left up to me, I'd remain stuck, just as I had been for 35 years.  I made the conscious choice to choose to live by Faith.  I, Mindi, will stumble at times, but I know that I have a great Leader and team mates who will encourage me to get up again and lay all my burdens at the cross.  Giving the credit where its due, God.  I am not perfect.  Sadly, I mess up a lot.  However, I strive towards humility each day.  I am thankful to everyone who helps keep me focused on my path towards Love. 

Amen! <3