Words that spoke to me...

There are many things in life that just aren't easy. Parenting is one of them! Along with loving difficult people.  The following words spoke to me, reminding me to be patient and loving, along with giving thanks for having the honor to raise children.

By Mary Southerland (www.girlfriendsingod.com)

"Have you noticed that sandpaper people are usually needy people? I have discovered that irritating behavior is often nothing more than a plea for help in disguise. True love - God’s love - looks beyond abrasive behavior to see and meet the real needs of a difficult person.

Meeting a need in the life of a sandpaper person can be messy and usually demands a sacrifice of some kind on our part. It is easier to simply placate or avoid difficult people than it is to love them the way they need to be loved. It makes our life easier. For example, when we see that sandpaper person coming, we turn around and head in the opposite direction. When the caller ID identifies our sandpaper person as the caller, we do not answer. Hurried conversations replace a listening heart. We offer tolerance instead of acceptance. And God is not pleased. He is committed to our character - not to our comfort.


God wants us to love each other in the same way that He loves – unconditionally. In fact, God wants us to love in such a way that the people around us will know we are fully devoted followers of Christ. I wonder what our relationships would look like if we did. Who knows? That sandpaper person may very well turn into a velvet person."



I've been blessed with 4 kids --- a set of twin daughters who are 20, a son that's14, and an 11 year old daughter.  My husband is crazy enough to want to add more kids to the bunch... bless his heart.  He has a pretty big one (I am lucky!!).  So, as I continue to accept the reality of adding more to the clan, with a teen and pre-teen already in tow, I will just keep remembering that I am able.  Parenting is not for the faint hearted... well, effective parenting anyway.

The picture reminds me just how precious we all really are --- everyone just wants to be loved and accepted.  So, I am committed to doing my part, as a parent and able-minded human on this Earth, until I am called Home.

Amen <3

Thoughts to paper.... (or this blog site)

I was reminded again today  -- get those feelings and thoughts out there --- put it down on paper.  

...finding my words again...

As I continue my journey towards Love, I came across the following written by Sharon Jaynes.  It spoke to me, so I am sharing it...

John Eldredge, in his book Wild at Heart, describes three longings that lie at the heart of every man: a battle to fight, a beauty to rescue, an adventure to live. He also ventures to say that women have three longings of the heart as well: to be fought for, to share in an adventure, and to have her beauty unveiled.

“Not to conjure,” Eldredge explains, “but to unveil.

A woman was and is one of God’s most magnificent creations. As a matter of fact, she was His grand finale. After He fashioned Eve, creation was complete and He took a rest! God has placed in our hearts a love for beauty and a desire to be beautiful – as He defines it.

Like an artist who sees the finished work in his mind’s eye, God saw your unformed substance and then began to fashion you from head to toe. He made no mistakes but planned each detail of your being. You do not need to compare yourself to other works of art, but thank the Artist for how He chose to create the masterpiece called…you.

Often I forget how precious I am.  I am wanted.  I was uniquely designed to learn authentic Love and share the abudance of His overflowing Love.  I am loved.  I am beautiful.  So are you!!

The picture is that of one of dearest friends weddings -- it reminds me to be honest, to love, to continue to remove the veil and uncover the beauty from within.  It starts with forgiveness on many levels... I am blessed! 

Amen,
Mindi

Remember to love yourself too...

In order to give love, you must receive love.

Impatience imprisons our soul.  Choose Patience.

Choose kindness.

Love is patient.

I love You!

We love, because He first loved us (1 John 4:19)

Amen <3

Patience...

Love is patient!  What!?  Oh wow -- :) the first word spoken about love.  Sadly, I must admit that I often fall short with patience.  I hate sitting at stop lights,  sitting in traffic, waiting at DMV, and more recently waiting to have my home transformed into new.  Being displaced from all my comforts has proven to be a challenge and a blessing.  I've seen a side of my husband I already knew was there, but this has confirmed his ability to exude patience and the love he has towards me.  It creates a desire to want to respond the same way, and causes me to reflect deeper and apologize faster, when I throw a tantrum/fall short :(

When I think of patience - I also think about how we are often asked to wait for things that are to come.  Whether it is love, a relationship, a new car, a new job, etc.  More often than not we are asked to be still and listen, but we can't so we create noise with staying busy, working too much, going out,  never allowing the small voice of God to just speak. 

So I challenge you to take 5 to 10 minutes a day and just be still.  Focus on your breath alone.  Then focus on the blessings of just being alive.  Give thanks for all things! Find joy and peace in the unknowns.  There is a plan.  Be patient.  You don't have to prove yourself.  You're enough. 

Amen <3

Learning love...

As I sit and think about love and what that means to me.  The question that comes to mind is "Have I been stubbornly resistant to really embracing it because I have been afraid of/to change?"  (recently had to answer this ?)

The answer is yes.

I believe all of us desire to be loved and accepted.  Except most of us don't really know what that means and more importantly how to react, respond, give, or receive love.  Society has told us it's about what you have and the titles to which you hold, how many letter are behind your name to be accepted and loved.  Parents may have taught us the measurement system, if you reach your goals or whatever measure they have laid upon you, then you've "succeeded" (thankfully, my parents were not this way).  What happens when you don't reach or hit those goals?  Or even worse, you do.  Yet still you are not "good enough?!"  What has happened to our society to make us feel like love or acceptance is so unattainable?  As I reflect more upon this, I realize if society, peer, and parental pressures were not enough - well, then we (ourselves) get involved. Whoa, aren't we our worst critics??

Going back to answering the question above:  Yes, I have been stubbornly resistant to truly embrace love because of my flawed thinking and misconceptions I've had about love.  In the past, I tried to seek love by doing more and being better and being good.  Trying to please everyone, but forgetting myself along the way.  Seeking acceptance by doing more.  Which then led to resentment and anger because I would fail... now at 37 realizing that much of my past thinking was flawed.  I would not say it was "wrong" because to say that would discredit the life experience I gained in my failures and adversity.  So, now I am choosing to let go of my stubborn patterns and choose to love with all of me.  Every part, the good and bad, the ugly and beautiful.  I will choose to remain open, honest, and authentic. 

Has your past been holding you back from your fullest potential to love and be loved??  If so, maybe it's time to examine the old and make room for the new... <3

Amen!

Reach for the sky...

Today, I am taking a moment to sit in silence and send my love to all those who need comfort and peace!

This photo reminds me that the sky is the limit - so reach for the stars.  Let the light guide you. 

Remembering the very precious gift of life and how each moment truly is a blessing.  May you choose to make each moment count!  Don't stay parked idle too long...

Amen! <3

Letting it go...

It's been a huge challenge to learn to lay down control and my past that burdened me.  Every time I have said yes to myself (flesh), I have taken away/cheated God from blessing me.

As I continue my 40 day fast of not consuming any liquor, I've noticed that I've been able to really connect with God and people on a level that may not have been possible with a substance on board.  There have been periods of my life where I was just consumed with "not feeling" or "avoiding."  At the time it felt so much easier than actually addressing the core problems of the heart.  It has caused more heartache and pain to numb than to just actually understand and heal from those past choices I made, or that were placed upon me of no choice of my own.  Literally, taking a sober assessment of my life.

Taken in Rome, Italy

What I do know is that I don't have to carry around the past pain and I can lay it at the cross.  I know that by believing and knowing He always has my best interest at heart, I can walk through the fear and overcome it with Him.  My faith has grown tremendously over the past year.  I've always believed but now I can see just how much I am loved and cared for by the Almighty.  It's not because I am weak, it's because I know without a doubt that I can do all things through Him.  If left up to me, I'd remain stuck, just as I had been for 35 years.  I made the conscious choice to choose to live by Faith.  I, Mindi, will stumble at times, but I know that I have a great Leader and team mates who will encourage me to get up again and lay all my burdens at the cross.  Giving the credit where its due, God.  I am not perfect.  Sadly, I mess up a lot.  However, I strive towards humility each day.  I am thankful to everyone who helps keep me focused on my path towards Love. 

Amen! <3

Thankful for love...

Some of my greatest teachers pictured below, not all by ANY stretch of the means, but I did want to take a time out to shout out to some of my favorite Loves.  Just to say Thank you!

Not all the choices I made were they fans of, but they loved me past my selfish ways.  Sometimes the path to learning to be selfless hurts those we love the most.  So for those who are not pictured here - You are STILL very much loved by me and you know who YOU are.  Thank you for loving me past my shortcoming and encouraging me to grow in a heart like His <3

Two of my favorite little love bugs! These two teach me the value of Love and patience.  It's my desire to be a better woman... I am trying you two. I am a work in process! You two have my heart always.  

I love you!

Thank you for encouraging me to grow to be a better stepmom all around.  It's been such a blessing to be part of your life... the best gift in the destruction of divorce.  I love you two!

 

Thank you to the Godly man of my life... Thank you for accepting me as I am.  I desire to be a better wife every single day, not because of you, but because of Him.  For always treating me a Queen!  Encouraging The Warrior Princess that I am... <3  Each day we will grow together and that excites me beyond words... I love you!

It is my prayer that you embrace the love that is around you... take a moment and pause and give thanks for the things you do have, instead of focusing on what you "think" you are missing!  I bet you are not and YOU are enough... <3

Amen!

Beauty from dirt...

Isaiah 61:3 states, “To console those who mourn in Zion, to give them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness (feelings of depression/despair) that they may be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.”

Learning to finally over-come past sexual abuse has been the hardest journey I have taken in my 37 years of life.  Even the experience didn't seem so difficult at the time.  Struggling with letting go of emotions such as shame, guilt, fear, and trust has been hard.  I used to think, "how can I trust a God, whom I felt was not there for me in the hardest of time? " Yet, looking back now, He is the one who protected me, held me, cherished me through evil acts of mankind.  The one who kept me prisoner to those feelings was the devil (the enemy of mankind/the deceiver).  He fed my mind with feelings of dirty and unworthy, not God.  (Genesis 50:20 - But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive.)

The questions I ask myself now are:
What can I do with the experiences (painful/life-changing) I've gone through to show His Love & Grace? (Forgiveness)
How can my suffering be used to draw closer to Him and let people know about who God is? (Character)
How can I be used to let others know they are not victims but loved by an ever loving Creator? (Serving)
Show me how to share my story with others and find Light after dark...  (Being authentic and transparent)

Believing and absolutely knowing that His good has come out of my pain, confirms Hope of a new future.  A future of Love, Mercy, and Grace. 

I am not defined by my past, nor am I prisoner to the evil acts of others.  I refuse a future filled with anger, hate, mistrust, shame, or guilt.  I choose love, forgiveness, hope, and restoration. I don't blame God for the evil of man, because He gave mankind the choice of free-will.  I do choose forgiveness because it frees my heart and allows me to truly love myself and others.  Forgiveness does not mean I condone the behavior, but it means I don't have to bear the burden.  I am free because He died on the cross to save us (all) from sin, even those who may not deserve it. (Salvation) (Matthew 6:14-15)

Do any of us deserve it?  Not so much... but I believe forgiving someone when they least deserve it allows me to be free, not a victim, and no longer stuck as a prisoner of shame or guilt!  I don't have to blame, I just have to claim (Him!!) Grace in abudance. It has been offered to me, therefore, I must offer it to others.  I'll never be perfect, but I will find perfect peace in Him and within the Truth given me. 

So for those who have asked how did I just forgive?  I chose it.  I took an active step to understand the process of healing the past.  I let go and Let God.  I could not carry the burden any longer, nor was it ever mine to carry to begin with.   Is life perfect? NO!  However, I am taking the difficult steps to lay it at the cross.  Apologizing to those who got hurt along the way because I didn't deal with painful past.  I shall stand idle no more!  Following the "light"(er) path...

AMEN!

Embracing risk...

Why do we play it safe with Love?  I think it's because we want to avoid hurt and pain.  If it doesn't happen the way we envision it, we are left to feel disappointed and hurt.  Pouty with arms crossed saying, "No, I won't do this again!"

On the flip side, if we don't take a risk and just love --- isn't it possible we will stay stuck, or worse not grow?  Without pain, how can you experience Joy? 

There have been so many times that I could have justifiably said that is it, No More Love.  I could have put all my walls up (because I am good at that) and shut out Love as I know it today.  Until one day I finally got it... I thought that's it... I am just going to be open.  Take a risk. 

First, I had to know who I am and what I am about.  I had to know what my intentions were and be intentional.  I had to know what I would accept and what was a deal breaker.  Once I could speak this truth to myself, it allowed God to work in ways I never thought possible.  He brought me my imperfectly perfect (for me) Husband.  Who loves me, accepts me, challenges me, and grows me into the woman I am to become.  Is it easy? No way!  However, it's worth it.  The pain of the past has shown me Grace and Joy like I never knew possible.  I am forever grateful for this journey of Love. 

So embrace risk and just Love!  Don't stay stuck.  Be intentional.  

There is beauty and growth in the unknown!

Stepping into the unknown...

Oh... the path looks so rugged and hard to walk on... but, oh there is peace and joy on the other side!

Promise! <3

  

It's why I really believe we must take the road together --- not walk the path alone.  Two are better than one.  Often the other may see a path that is less painful or just a more peaceful path to walk upon in the storm.  If anything at all, there are there with you, helping ease the pain.

I consider it a true honor to be blessed with amazing people within my circle, and even more joyful when it leads to "God" sent gifts outside of my circle.  I choose to believe that everyone is put in our path for a reason, a purpose.  To teach me.  To guide me.  To help me.  To challenge me.  And many to love me beyond what I even deserve.  Today, I am thankful for the rugged path that has led me to so many lovely and loving paths/people... Amen.  #Blessed

Listen to me <3 - Healing Begins by Tenth Avenue North